


Let's go home

by Desirae



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 12x12, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, episode coda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2017-02-17
Packaged: 2018-09-25 02:16:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9798095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Desirae/pseuds/Desirae
Summary: 12x12 episode coda.No more hiding.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Couldn't help myself, Jensen and Misha punched me in the heart with this episode.  
> You can find me here on [Twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/DesiraeSterite) and [Tumblr](https://desiraelovesdestiel.tumblr.com)

_Let's go home._ The words seemed to echo in Dean’s head as soon as they slipped past his lips.  They’d hung in the air as he trailed out the door after Cas. There had been no argument. They had been quick to leave, letting the ghosts of violence settle in the empty room. Anyone who walked in there afterward would see destruction and blood, but they would be long gone.

It was unspoken that Castiel would sit in the front with Dean. Not just because of the near death whatever, but because Dean needed Cas close. He needed the warm presence of his best friend, his family, his… well. That was a whole other issue. One they hadn’t clued the rest of the family in on. One that was getting harder and harder to hide. Harder to joke when a waitress looked at Cas like he belonged on the dessert menu. Not that Castiel seemed to get it. In fact, the only thing he seemed to be interested in was whether or not she did, in fact, smell like food.

Dean side-eyed Cas as they sped down the road, and headlights of the cars passing by washed his face in light. He looked tired and cold, though Dean logically knew that his temperature was probably just fine. To stop himself from reaching over and grabbing Cas’ hand, from lacing his fingers with the angel’s own long digits, he instead reached out and flipped on the heat. Cas turned and gave him a grateful smile. _Hmm_. Maybe he was cold after all. Or perhaps, like Dean, he was replacing the warmth of a held hand with the rush of hot air.

 _I love you. I love all of you._  Dean had almost lost it right there. But he had refused to believe it was the end. There was no way he was finally, _finally_ getting to a place where he really thought he could do this, where he could actually say fuck it, and just be with Cas only to have the angel ripped away from him. Watching the black poison spiderweb across his body, foam out his mouth, It was like the leviathan all over again and Dean had nearly been sick. So he'd pushed it down and fought and in the end, owed Cas' life to Crowley. He didn't care. He'd happily owe the King of Hell if it meant his angel lived.

They had been holding back. They hadn’t really discussed it. The stolen kisses, the secret bed sharing, coming together, hot flesh meeting hot flesh in a beautiful symphony of quiet moans and slick, slapping skin.  They had seemed to be under an unspoken agreement that dealing with Kelly and Lucifer’s child had to come first, before breaking it to the rest of the family. But to have Cas say _I love you_ that way. For it to be said in front of Sam and his mom only because Cas was dying? That was unacceptable. It should have been something they overheard when Dean and Cas were sneaking into his room. They should have heard it when they were snuggled in front of the television watching Netflix. Not because Cas was gasping his final breaths. It seemed stupid now. So ridiculous to keep it to themselves. For what? So they wouldn’t rock the boat? What did that even matter? It wouldn’t change anything. They’d still being doing the same thing they were doing now, accept they wouldn’t have to hide.

Dean let out a shuddering breath and Castiel looked at him, concern etched on his weary face. As though he should be worrying about the hunter, despite the hell the angel had just been through. Dean looked in the rearview mirror. Sam was unusually silent and his mother was staring resolutely out the window. Dean’s fingers flexed on the steering wheel and he glanced at Castiel again. _Fuck this_. He wasn’t waiting the few hours it took to get back to Lebanon to touch him again.

Dean reached over and tugged Castiel’s hand, entwining their fingers to rest them on his thigh. Cas gave an audible sigh and took that as permission to do what Dean imagined he’d wanted to do since sitting in the passenger seat. Cas drifted over towards Dean and let his head rest against the hunter’s shoulder. The weight felt warm and familiar and _oh so right_. Dean once again, glanced into the rearview mirror. He raised a challenging brow at his brother, daring him to say anything. His mother had yet to notice the angel cuddling her oldest in the front seat, but Sam just smiled and let his own head fall back, eyes slipping closed.

* * *

 

When they arrived at the bunker, no one spoke. It wasn’t a heavy silence so much as an exhausted one. Sam and Mary clambered out of the back seat and Dean met Cas outside of the passenger side. Dean slid his arm around Cas’ waist as they followed the others out of the garage and into the bunker.

Once inside, Mary tilted her head at them quizzically. Sam just brushed her arm and shook his head. Dean smiled at him gratefully, as he steered Castiel towards his room. Once inside, they stripped down to boxers and crawled onto Dean’s memory foam. Dean loved that even though Cas didn’t need to sleep, laying with Dean curled around him, like slotted spoons, was something the angel enjoyed.

Dean had one hand under his pillow, the other draped across Cas’ chest, as he tugged the angel closer to his body. Dean kissed the nape of Cas’ neck, breathing in that earth and storm scent that the angel always carried. Fresh, like rain and petrichor.

“I thought I almost lost you,” Dean finally broke the silence as he whispered harshly against the shell of Cas’ ear.

“So did I,” came the ragged, gravelly response.

Dean clutched Castiel tighter to him. “You, uh. You gotta stop doing that to me, man.”

Dean knew if he could see Cas’ face, there would be a hint of his classic lopsided smile.

“Of course, Dean,” Castiel replied as he turned over to look up at him. Castiel's hand came up to brush along Dean’s cheekbone and Dean mirrored the movement, thumbing at the slight stubble that graced Cas’ face. Green stared into blue, so many things said without words. With a soft sigh, Dean closed the gap between them and captured Cas’ pink chapped lips in a gentle kiss, not pushing for more, just that small connection. It was a sweet, soothing press of lips, and Dean felt Cas’ hand tangle in his hair, massaging the scalp softly. He couldn’t be sure for how long they sipped at each other, but when when they finally broke apart, Dean’s lips were tingling.

“I love you, Cas.”

“And I you, Dean. Sleep now, _ol monons_ ,” Castiel murmured, shifting so that his arm now draped over Dean’s chest and his head nestled into the crook of his neck.

Dean ran his hand up and down Cas’ back, fingers tracing the soft skin. As he drifted off it was with the knowledge that there would be no more hiding what they were to each other, and despite the horror of the day, he fell asleep with a smile.

 

**Author's Note:**

> ol monons: my heart


End file.
